Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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