i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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