So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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