I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
