So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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