i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
