I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
