Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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