The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
