Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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