Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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