No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize