Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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