So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
