Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
