he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize