i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
