I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
