His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
