I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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