I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
