If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
