is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
