Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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