I smell stomach acid.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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