And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize