he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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