You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
