Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
