i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
