8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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