addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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