Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize