I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
