So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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