bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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