No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
