quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
