well you can't waste a boner
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
