i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
