and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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