well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She bit a glass in half.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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