Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
