Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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