using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
