and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
