i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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