Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
