Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
