you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
