Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
