hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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