went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
