I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
No subtext here. People are naked.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
