He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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