sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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