What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
