I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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