i was rollin on her like bob the builder
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
