I bet he comes in French.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
