I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
