this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
