using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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