Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
