If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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