we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize