is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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