i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So apparently I’m into choking now
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